My Apologies

I haven't been online much. I'm sorry about not updating.

So what's new? ... I've been doing a lot of thinking. Ryan's blog touches on some of it (today's writing - which is acctually Tuesday the 10th ... dunno what's up with the date being weird ...). I commented. But that's just the surface.

In the midst of all of this thinking, I've discovered that somewhere along the way (and just in the last couple of weeks) I've become an emotional wreck. Yesterday's emotional mess I just attributed to my exhaustion. (We were at the Apple Butter Festival in Salem, WV with Tyler's mom on Saturday. It's about 6 hours from here. Jet set weekends usually take it out of people.) However, today the mess remains. I slept well. I'm not feeling really great. But I'm not tired anymore. I've also lost a large chunk of my desire to socialize. I've ignored at least 5 phone calls today. Yesterday I didn't want to go somewhere. Don't get me wrong, I had a good time once I was there. I know I was helpful. I just didn't want to be there. I don't really want to work around here either. I look at the stuff that needs done and just feel overwhelmed. I've never been this intimidated by so little work. I keep trying to tell myself that I can do it all ... really it's just light cleaning ... but that doesn't seem to work ... grr ... Eventually I shall snap out of this mess in which I sit.

More things to think about ... I'm leading that retreat in 3 weeks. I'm super looking forward to it ... but I need to nail down the talk I'm supposed to give. I must say ... when Derek (It's his youth group ... I'm taking the girls for the weekend.) and I originally set the schedule, I thought the talks were like 15-20 mins ... NOPE ... I'm supposed to go for 40. That's intimidating for me. And so, because I'm short on material with which to fill that time, I'm extending an invitation to you all - my faithful readers. It's a He-Man/She-Ra retreat. I'm talking about how we must be enough in ourselves and in God. For only He can fill the void. Society, friends, boys, commercialism, etc. preach the need for things and that we can never really be enough. My title is "Enough Already!" ... so far ... I'm short. Thoughts on being a woman of God ... These are high school girls. The rest of the weekend they'll be hearing talks on sex and what's really going on in a guy's head. There's also going to be a dedication time for them ... Another note here - I'm giving my talk at like 8 am on Saturday morning. So I want to dive in ... but I don't want to loose anyone because it's too early ... Seriously - help me here ...

One yay moment before I go ... my shirt is a size smaller than I could wear last winter. It looks pretty good on me too ... :)